Stories
Harvest rules
A humorous set of harvest rules from the Szörényi Winery archive.
1. Never start the day by drinking wine. Morning wine sits heavily on the stomach and may also interfere with balance and clear sight. An experienced harvester begins with a small shot of pomace pálinka; it opens the veins and even keeps the fruit flies away.
2. Spend as little time as possible in the September and October sun. It still has strength and can easily cause dizziness, wandering and problems with balance. The cool cellar is the safest place for a tired body to recover.
3. Never take an umbrella or a walking stick into the cellar. In case of falling down the stairs, it may prevent a safe landing, and it may also knock down glasses.
4. Always hold the wine thief with one hand, so the other remains free to support your fellow harvester.
5. Do not gulp wine; sip it. A wine-guzzler is not an aesthetic sight and casts a shadow over the whole harvest.
6. Do not covet your neighbour’s wine. Yours is right there.
7. Every hour or two, come up from the cellar and check how the harvest is progressing. Among the vines, hold on firmly to the stakes and try to place one foot in front of the other in a regular rhythm.
8. Singing and reciting have a beneficial effect on the lungs and heart, strengthen the feeling of belonging, and also drive the starlings away.
9. Be careful with marriage promises; they may cause discomfort the next morning.
10. In harvest disputes, knives and barrel staves should not be used. Offer the opponent old wine instead; it will settle the matter.
11. If speech contains too many consonants, gestures may also be used. Sitting propped up in the corner can be even more expressive.
12. Do not sleep on the cellar stairs, because people may fall over you with glasses and wine thieves in hand.
13. In the morning, do not be frightened by the red-nosed person with bags under the eyes in the mirror. Poor soul has troubles of his own.